Not Pounded By Anything

Across the wide world of the Tingleverse, one thing is clear: love is real. But, for many buckaroos, their preferred kind of love has nothing to do with sex. Whether asexual or just not feeling it at the moment, this collection of completely sexless tales is perfect for the desires of any readers who are looking for a non-sexual trip through the alternate timelines of Dr. Chuck Tingle. NOT POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY ANYTHING AND THAT'S OKAY When Ken starts his day late for a very important presentation at work, he has no idea how much this small mistake will change the rest of his life. Soon enough, the handsome man is having several platonic encounters with a Unicorn Butt Cop, his bigfoot boss, and a shirtless dinosaur librarian.Eventually, Ken finds himself on a dinner date with the muscular dinosaur, feasting on a home cooked meal as the two enjoy each other's presence. But is their connection simply friendship? Or something romantic?One thing's for sure, it's definitely not sexual; and that's okay! NOT POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY BOOK "NOT POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY ANYTHING AND THAT'S OKAY" AND THAT'S OKAY World famous author, Luck Dingle, needs a vacation. Taking a break from the cold of Billings, Luck travels to Hawaii only to discover that the sentient, physical manifestation of his latest book, Not Pounded In The Butt By Anything And That's Okay, has embarked on a similar journey. NOT POUNDED AT THE LAST SECOND BECAUSE CONSENT CAN BE GIVEN AND REVOKED AT ANY MOMENT AND THIS IS A WONDERFUL THING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND Blip is on the way to a white water rafting trip, but he's nervous about the adventure before it even begins. Fortunately, Blip finds himself with a wonderful and patient guide, a handsome bigfoot named Garto Grims who explains that, while the river may seem like there's only one path to take, there are actually several forks in the road, and it's always okay to stop entirely.As the attraction between Blip and Garto mounts, they suddenly find themselves locked in the heat of passion, and when Blip suddenly changes his mind about the encounter, he quickly learns that's okay! DRESSED UP HANDSOME AND NOT POUNDED BECAUSE COSPLAY IS NOT CONSENT Clippo loves science fiction, fantasy and comic books, but he's never managed to make it to a convention; until now. This weekend, Clippo and his friend Jorn are headed to Tinglecon, dressed up real handsome and excited to show off their new outfits.But when someone approaches Clippo inappropriately, security is quickly called. With the T-Rex head of security as his guide, Clippo has a front row seat in observing the world of self-entitled morons who think cosplay is consent. Clippo witness's a variety of tests that prove time and time again, these idiotic men have no idea what they're talking about. NICE GUY DINOSAUR DOESN'T POUND ME IN THE BUTT BECAUSE I'M NOT INTERESTED AND HE'S NOT ACTUALLY NICE HE'S JUST ANNOYING AND CREPPY AND DOESN'T RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES WHEN I TELL HIM WE'RE NOT ON A DATE When Montan learns that his local comic shop is holding a tournament for one of his favorite, old-school videogames, he desperately wants to go. Unfortunately, tickets have been sold out for a while, but when a fedora-wearing dinosaur named Prenko overhears Montan's dilemma, he offers an extra ticket. NOT POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF MY NEED TO PLEASE EVERYONE BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S OKAY TO GIVE BACK TO YOURSELF Joey likes to help the people around him, and he's proud of that fact, but after fainting at work from exhaustion the man begins to realize that he might be wearing himself out. Unfortunately, when the physical manifestation of Joey's need to please everyone around him shows up, things go from bad to worse.

Across the wide world of the Tingleverse, one thing is clear: love is real. But, for many buckaroos, their preferred kind of love has nothing to do with sex or romance. Whether asexual or just not feeling it at the moment, this collection of completely sexless tales is perfect for the desires of any readers who are looking for a non-sexual trip through the alternate timelines of Dr. Chuck Tingle. NOT POUNDED BY SELF-DOUBT BECAUSE I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO ABSOLUTELY NO THOUGHTS OF POUNDING DURING MY FUN DAY WITH THIS KIND T-REX BECAUSE I’M AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL AND THAT’S A WONDERFULLY VALID WAY OF PROVING LOVE IS REAL NOT POUNDED BY THE CONSPIRACY THEORY THAT I JUST SHARED ONLINE BECAUSE IT’S NOT REAL NOT POUNDED BY ROMANCE WRANGLERS OF AMERICA BECAUSE THEIR NEW LEADERSHIP IS FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE ENDLESS COSMIC VOID NOT POUNDED BY ANYTHING WHILE I PRACTICE RESPONSIBLE SOCIAL DISTANCING NOT POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF SOMEONE ELSE’S DOUBT IN MY PLACE ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM BECAUSE DENYING SOMEONE’S PERSONAL JOURNEY AND IDENTITY LIKE THAT IS INCREDIBLY RUDE SO NO THANKS

Across the wide world of the Tingleverse, one thing is clear: love is real. But, for many buckaroos, their preferred kind of love has nothing to do with sex or romance. Whether asexual or just not feeling it at the moment, this collection of completely sexless tales is perfect for the desires of any readers who are looking for a non-sexual trip through the alternate timelines of Dr. Chuck Tingle. NOT POUNDED BY THE ADMITTEDLY HANDSOME SENTIENT FIREWORK DISPLAY BECAUSE HE REALLY FREAKS OUT MY DOG NOT POUNDED BY THE HANDSOME PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF MY TWITTER SUSPENSION BECAUSE IT WAS REVERSED NOT POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF BISEXUAL GATEKEEPING BECAUSE IT'S SUPER GROSS AND IF YOU DO IT YOU’RE NOT THE HERO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU’RE ACTUALLY JUST A JERK JUST KIND OF IGNORING THIS SAD LONESOME T-REX WHO IS SCREAMING "DEBATE ME" FROM HIS FOLDING CHAIR NOT POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF CHUCK TINGLE’S TRADITIONAL PUBLISHING DEAL BECAUSE HE WRITES ABOUT MORE THAN JUST POUNDING HOWEVER IF THIS BOOK WAS ABOUT POUNDING THAT WOULD BE OKAY TOO BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH SEXUALITY IN ART MY POOL GETS ME WET IN A COMPLETELY PLATONIC WAY AND NOW WE ARE CLOSE FRIENDS

Across the wide world of the Tingleverse, one thing is love is real But, for many buckaroos, their preferred kind of love has nothing to do with sex or romance. Whether asexual or just not feeling it at the moment, this collection of completely sexless tales is perfect for the desires of any readers who are looking for a non-sexual trip through the alternate timelines of Dr. Chuck Tingle. NOT POUNDED BY MY SOUL-CRUSHING JOB BECAUSE I QUIT NOT POUNDED BY MY BOOK “POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF THE SHOCKINGLY MASSIVE IMPORTANCE OF PRE-ORDERS WHEN SUPPORTING AUTHORS YOU ENJOY IN THE TRADITIONAL PUBLISHING INDUSTRY” BECAUSE IT’S SO IMPORTANT I HAD TO WRITE ANOTHER BOOK ABOUT IT THAT WASN’T EXPLICIT TO REACH AN EVEN WIDER AUDIENCE NOT POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF THIS SPAM EMAIL BECAUSE IGNORING MY PERSONAL BOUNDARIES IS ALWAYS A DEAL-BREAKER NO MATTER HOW COMPATIBLE WE MIGHT SEEM IN OTHER WAYS NOT POUNDED BY BI ERASURE BECAUSE MY CURRENT HETERO-PRESENTING RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT INVALIDATE MY QUEERNESS NOT POUNDED BY TWIDDOR CHECKMARKS BECAUSE I BLOCKED EVERY PERSON WHO HAS ONE, DESPITE ELON MORK STANDING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT CRYING AND BEGGING ME TO JOIN TWIDDOR BLUE NOT POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF MY OWN SCREENWRITING BECAUSE I’M ON STRIKE AND I DESERVE TO BE FAIRLY COMPENSATED FOR MY LABOR WHILE STUDIO CEOS TAKE RECORD SALARIES