Stephen Clarke

From the bestselling author of A YEAR IN THE MERDE, the next instalment in the hilarious adventures of Paul West."Edgier than Bryson, hits harder than Mayle' The TimesA year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some fundamental questions:What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why are there no health warnings on French nudist beaches? And is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress?Paul opens his English tea room, and mutates (temporarily) into a Parisian waiter; samples the pleasures of typically French hotel-room afternoons; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes.Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. But will Paul find l'amour eternel, or will it all end in merde?MERDE ACTUALLYIn his second comedy of errors, Paul West continues to sabotage the entente cordiale.Author's apology: "I'd just like to say sorry to all the suppository fans out there, because in this book there are no suppositories. There are, however, lots of courgettes, and I see this as progress. Suppositories to courgettes – I think it proves that I'm developing as a writer.' Stephen Clarke

Q: What happens when an Englishman, an American, and a French woman drive across America in a Mini? A: Merde Happens...Paul West is in deep financial merde. His only way out of debt is to accept a decidedly dodgy job that involves him touring America in a Mini, while pretending to be typically British.Also in the car is Paul's French girlfriend, Alexa, and his American poet friend, Jake, whose main aim in life is to sleep with a woman from every country in the world. Preferably in the back of Paul's Mini.But as the little car battles from New York to Miami, and then heads west, leg-room turns out to be the least of Paul's troubles. His work is being sabotaged, his tour plans are in tatters, and his love life becomes a Franco-American war zone.And as Paul knows better than anyone, when you mix love and war – merde happens ...

Self-published in France, and a subsequent bestseller, the hilarious story of a year in the life of a young Englishman abroad.Paul West, a young Englishman, arrives in Paris to start a new job – and finds out what the French are really like.They do eat a lot of cheese, some of which smells like pigs' droppings. They don't wash their armpits with garlic soap. Going on strike really is the second national participation sport after petanque. And, yes, they do use suppositories.In his first novel, Stephen Clarke gives a laugh-out-loud account of the pleasures and perils of being a Brit in France. Less quaint than A Year in Provence, less chocolatey than Chocolat, A Year in the Merde will tell you how to get served by the grumpiest Parisian waiter; how to make perfect vinaigrette every time; how to make amour – not war; and how not to buy a house in the French countryside.

Englishman Paul West works as a Parisian waiter and on a return visit to Britain, witnesses the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes, all the while continuing his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. "The latest episode in Stephen Clarke's almost-true account of his adventures as an expat in France is just as delightful as the original--and already a #1 bestseller in the UK. A year after arriving in France, Englishman Paul West is still struggling with some questions. What is the best way to scare a gendarme? Why are there no health warnings on French nudist beaches? Is it really polite to sleep with your boss's mistress? And how do you cope with a plague of ripe garden vegetables? Paul discovers how to judge a French vacationer by the rustiness of his bicycle; opens his English tea room and finally understands why Parisian waiters are so cranky; and, on a return visit to the UK, sees the full horror of a British office party through Parisian eyes. Meanwhile, he continues his search for the perfect French mademoiselle. Will Paul find l'amour e;ternel, or will it all end in merde?"--Publisher description.

"Englishman Paul West is living the Parisian dream, and doing his best not to annoy the French. But recently things have been going très wrong. His apartment is so small that he has to cut his baguette in two to fit it into the kitchen. His research into authentic French cuisine is about to cause a national strike. His Parisian business partner is determined to close their English tea-room. And Paul's French ex-girlfriend seems to be stalking him. Threatened with eviction, unemployment and bankruptcy, Paul realises that the merde really is about to hit the fan"--Publisher description.

Englishman Paul West has just received an offer he can't refuse: two weeks in the sun, all expenses paid, with a beautiful blonde called Gloria Monday. M, as Gloria likes to be known, is down south to report on caviar trafficking - but it soon becomes obvious that she's interested in something a lot more fishy than caviar. Meanwhile Paul's best friend Elodie is marrying a French aristocrat, and Paul is asked to do the catering. Cooking for the French is a risky assignment at the best of times, but Paul, who is starting to feel a bit like James Bond, assures her that nothing can go wrong. Or can it? As Paul is sexually harassed by an English hen party, picked on by French commandoes and arrested by excitable gendarmes, he realises that events are spiralling out of control. And when he discovers that M's real target is France's biggest fish of all - the new President - and that he's coming to Elodie's wedding, Paul knows that the merde really is about to hit the fan...

"The meeting of an essay, 'A brief history of the future' by Jacques Attali, and the world of contemporary art. This book explores the major social issues studied by Jacques Attali and points out how visual artists go beyond simple observation to take an active part in the debate and deveop projects fired by a form of utopian creativity"--Back cover.