Laura Levine

On the frontlines of the battle of the bulge, otherwise known as trying on bathing suits in the communal dressing room at Loehmann’s, freelance writer Jaine Austen makes a new friend—a wannabe actress named Pam—and gets a new job: sprucing up Pam’s bare-bones resume. Their feeling of connection is mutual, so Pam invites Jaine to join The PMS Club–a women’s support group that meets once a week over guacamole and margaritas.But joining the club proves to be more a curse than a blessing for Jaine. Though she is warned that Rochelle, the hostess, makes a guacamole to die for, Jaine never takes the warning literally. Until another PMS member, Marybeth, drops dead over a mouthful of the green stuff after confessing she is having an affair with Rochelle’s husband.While Rochelle and her husband are the obvious suspects, everyone at that night’s meeting is under suspicion, including Jaine. So, instead of dishing dirt with The PMS Club, Jaine has to dig up dirt on the surviving members. And soon it becomes clear: someone in this club thinks getting away with murder should be a privilege of membership...

Freelance writer Jaine Austen thought working for a knock-off reality show in the tropics would be paradise. But when she and her kitty Prozac find themselves trapped between a dimwitted leading man, catty contestants, and a cold-blooded murderer, the splashy gig becomes one deadly nightmare... Jaine's life has been a royal pain since she started penning dialogue for Some Day My Prince Will Come -- a cheesy dating show that features bachelorettes competing for the heart of Spencer Dalworth VII, a very distant heir to the British throne. As if fending off golf ball-sized bugs on a sweltering island wasn't tough enough, Jaine must test her patience against an irritable production crew and fierce contestants who will do anything to get their prince... But Jaine never expected murder to enter the script. When one of the finalists dies in a freak accident, it's clear someone wanted the woman out of the race for good -- and the police won't allow a soul off the island until they seize the culprit. Terrified of existing another day without air conditioning and eager to return home, Jaine is throwing herself into the investigation. And she better pounce on clues quickly -- or there won't be any survivors left...

Freelance writer Jaine Austen is feeling festive about spending Christmas house-sitting at a posh Bel Air mansion, accompanied by her friend Lance and her cat, Prozac. But when a grumpy neighbor gets himself iced, she'll have to find the culprit or she may spend the New Year in jail... Scotty Parker is a former child star who once played Tiny Tim, but now he's grown up into the role of neighborhood Scrooge. He cuts the wires on his neighbors' Christmas lights and tells local kids that Santa had a stroke. And his miserly, bah-humbug attitude lasts year-round -- a fact known all too well by his current wife, his ex-wife, his maid, and many more. Scotty thinks he can stage a comeback with the screenplay he's working on (The Return of Tiny Tim: Vengeance Is Mine!), and Jaine's been reluctantly helping him edit it. So when Scotty is bludgeoned with a frozen chocolate yule log and the police start making a list of suspects and checking it twice, Jaine's name is unfortunately included. True, she's been under some stress, with Lance trying to set her up on dates and her fickle feline taking a sudden liking to someone else -- but she's not guilty of murder. Now she just has to prove it, by using her gift for detection and figuring out who committed this holiday homicide.

Contains 3 novelettes. Hannah Swensen of the Cookie Jar in Lake Eden, Minn., discovers her neighbor's head bashed in; Jaine Austen's holiday stay at her parents' home in the Tampa Vistas retirement community is enlivened by the murder of an elderly lothario; and, Maine reporter Lucy Stone investigates a four-year-old boy's disappearance. Includes recipes.

"When Jaine lands a job writing web copy and brochures for matchmaker Joy Amoroso, she's excited for a chance to help the lovelorn just in time for Valentine's Day--until she realizes what 'Dates of Joy' is really all about. Joy is a ruthless taskmaster who screams at her employees for the smallest infractions, pads her website with pictures of professional models posing as clients, and offers up convincing-but-empty promises of love in exchange for inordinate sums of money. It's no surprise when the cruel cupid turns up dead at a Valentine's Day mixer. Aghast to find herself on the cops' suspect list, Jaine sets out to track down the killer. Who could it be? Joy's harried assistants, whose lives she made a living hell? Is it her younger lover or the handsome hunk of a client with a secret in his past? Or maybe the furious Beverly Hills widow who forked over the last of her savings for a Prince Charming who never materialized? Joy left behind a slew of enemies struck by her deviant arrows, so finding the culprit may prove harder than spotting that elusive caramel praline in a box of chocolates--and Jaine will have to flirt with danger to get to the truth"--Jacket.

Three big-name cozy writers contribute candy cane-themed novellas to this entertaining yuletide anthology. Levine's series heroine Jaine Austen (Death by Pantyhose, etc.) spots a wealthy suburbanite's killer in the unfortunately skimpy The Danger of Candy Canes, where the subplot about a troubled teen is more compelling than the actual mystery. Hannah Swensen (Key Lime Pie Murder, etc.) experiments with new Christmas cookies (recipes included, of course) and gets to the bottom of a Santa slaying in Fluke's complex Candy Cane Murder, which includes several plausible suspects and a surprising twist-an impressive feat in just 150 pages. Meier's powerful Candy Canes of Christmas Past takes heroine Lucy Stone (Bake Sale Murder, etc.) back to December 1983, when, newly arrived in Tinker's Cove, Maine, she found herself investigating the circumstances of a decades-old local death and struggling with her own financial and domestic difficulties.

Writer-for-hire Jaine Austen, living in L.A. with her cat, Prozac, appreciates one of the perks of working freelance—a wardrobe that’s heavy on elastic waists. But her BFF, Lance, has a makeover in mind, and it’s about to lead to murder . . . Uber-stylist Bebe Braddock plans to juice up her Instagram feed, and thinks Jaine would make a perfect “Before & After” model. At Lance’s insistence Jaine is ushered into Bebe’s sprawling Brentwood spread to await her transformation. Yet, while the surroundings are glamorous, the atmosphere is toxic as Bebe bullies her team of assistants, and even her husband, into obeying her every whim. Having earned the wrath of everyone in her orbit, few are shocked when Bebe is found strangled with one of her detested wire hangers. But Jaine’s prints are all over the murder weapon, making her a prime suspect. The police, however, aren’t the only ones showing interest in her—so is Justin, Bebe’s very cute, very young personal assistant. While Jaine navigates a cougar-style romance, Prozac is mistakenly hailed as a feline hero and catapults into internet fame. Still, there are more urgent matters at hand than Prozac’s swelling ego. Because unless Jaine can track down Bebe’s killer and clear her own name, the only new outfit she’ll be modeling is an orange prison jumpsuit. . .

Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills, but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis, uber rich uber witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon be sashaying down the aisle with another former classmate from Hermosa High, and she'd like the exchange of vows to evoke Romeo and Juliet...except without the “downer” of an ending. Even worse than the assignment itself is dealing with Patti as a client. At least Jaine's not alone, as nobody can stand the demanding, spoiled, and incredibly rude Bridezilla from Hell. So it isn't a complete surprise when the erstwhile Juliet plunges to her death during her balcony scene. The loosened bolts that brought down the bride were clearly an act of sabotage—what's not so obvious is whom, among Patti's numerous haters, committed this murder most foul...

Jaine Austen is looking forward to an indulgent spa getaway -- until she learns it's more about deprivation than relaxation. Between miniscule meals and a deadly brush with fame, surviving this vacation will be no piece of cake... When Jaine's friend Lance surprises her with a trip to The Haven, an �ber-luxe health spa on the California coast, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But upon their arrival, she discovers that this oasis in the hills is merely a fat farm in disguise, complete with celery-juice cocktails, humiliating weigh-ins, and a zero-tolerance position on carbs. And as she gets to know her fellow inmates, she realizes 300-calorie dinners aren't the craziest thing she'll be dealing with. Among her bulge-battling companions is Mallory Francis, a B-list movie star with a knack for making frenemies with everyone she meets. When she's found strangled during a seaweed wrap gone awry, Jaine is hard-pressed to think of anyone who couldn't have done it. Perhaps it was Kendra, Mallory's bitter sister-slash-personal assistant. Or maybe Clint, a macho former co-star whose dirtiest secret is in danger of being undressed in the drama queen's upcoming memoir. Or was it The Havens' pretty young masseuse, driven to commit a crime of passion when Mallory seduced her aerobics instructor husband Sven? With the suspects mounting faster than her hunger pangs, Jaine doesn't know who to believe. And when her search for truth, justice and contraband calories leads her straight to the cold-blooded killer, it seems murder may be on the menu once again...

A gal with a serious Ben & Jerry's habit can't afford to be too picky about employment opportunities. So when Beverly Hills socialite SueEllen Kingsley offers freelance writer Jaine Austen megabucks to ghostwrite a book of hostess tips, it's time to sharpen the #2s. But everything short circuits when Jaine finds SueEllen floating face down in her tub, fried by her own blow dryer. The primary suspect: Heidi, SueEllen's stepdaughter, whose account of a mysterious blonde fleeing the scene is greeted with skepticism by Beverly Hills' finest. Peroxided suspects abound, including a very private masseuse, a jealous nurse, a former game show hostess...even a closet blonde with a surprising secret. One of them is hiding a murderous heart behind pricey highlights, and Jaine's out to expose the killer's dark roots. Because blondes have enough fun without getting away with murder...

Freelance writer Jaine Austen has never been able to resist the siren call of an Eskimo Pie, just like she can't resist renewing her romance with Andrew, an old crush. With her bank account hitting new lows, she's also just agreed to write jokes for Dorcas, a stand-up comic who throws her pantyhose into the audience as a punch line. Not only is Dorcas's act a bomb, she is heckled by Vic, a gorgeous fellow comic. Naturally when Vic is murdered with Dorcas's pantyhose and that same Dorcas is standing over his dead body, the police arrest...Dorcas. They figure it's an open-and-shut case, although Jaine figures no killer can be that dumb. But when Jaine sets out to find the real culprit, she is distracted by one dating disaster after another with Andrew -- and she may not see the dark side of comedy until she faces the business end of a gun and a cold, deadly grin...

Freelance writer Jaine Austen is not your typical Los Angelino. She's not rich, she's not thin, and she's definitely not starstruck. She is a sarcastic, sometime-sleuth who's never met a carb she didn't like...or a mystery she couldn't solve... If clothes make the man, then what do Jaine's elastic-waist pants and T-shirts make her? A fashion nightmare, according to her neighbor, Lance. She doesn't expect Lance--who works in the designer shoe department at Neiman Marcus--to understand...which is how she ends up visiting his favorite boutique, Passions. While the couture is definitely not for Jaine, the staff's gossip is. Tiny orange-haired clerk Becky starts complaining about her co-worker Giselle -- a.k.a. "Frenchie" -- a brittle blonde who, when she's not making fun of customers behind their backs, adds extra-marital notches to her Chanel belt. Though Jaine doesn't land a new look, she does land a new job when Passions' owner gives her a chance to write their new magazine ads. But when Jaine arrives the next morning to pitch her ideas, she finds Frenchie pitched over, stabbed in the neck by one of her own stilettos. Now all Jaine has to do is figure out who hated Frenchie the most, in a case of death by designer knock-off...

Steamy personals ads. Daring declarations of love. Writer-for-hire Jaine Austen has penned them all. But when one of the love connections she made is broken up by murder, Jaine finds herself freelancing free-of-charge--and uncovering more than she bargained for... No one seems to need her help more than geeky, gawky Howard Murdoch. His request is simple enough: a letter proclaiming his undying love for Stacy Lawrence, a gorgeous aerobics instructor. The fact that he's never actually met the woman gives Jaine pause--but she soon overcomes her misgivings, warms up her computer, and starts pitching woo on Howard's behalf. To Jaine's surprise, the letter is a success--the unlikely Romeo lands a date! But his triumph is, sadly, short-lived. On Valentine's Day, Howard finds Stacy bludgeoned to death with a Thigh Master--and is quickly named the prime suspect. Upon hearing the news, Jaine is shocked. Sure, Howard's awkward, eccentric, and a tiny bit odd. But a murderer? That's hard to believe. Especially after a little sleuthing turns up a whole bunch of people who harbored less-than-loving feelings towards the svelte Stacy. But Jaine had better wrangle her clues quickly, before a crafty killer catches on--and puts a whole new spin on her ghost writing career...

After a dry spell, freelance writer Jaine Austen's life is suddenly full of romance. For one thing, she's reconnected with her ex -- though her cat, Prozac, isn't happy about it. And Jaine's also got a new ghostwriting gig, working on a steamy novel called Fifty Shades of Turquoise . . . Daisy Kincaid is in her sixties and heiress to a fortune. Now she wants to make a name for herself as a romance author . . . with a little help from Jaine, that is. As Jaine labors away on love scenes, she gets to know the wealthy woman's gentleman friend, her household staff, and her social circle -- every one of whom is horrified when Daisy falls under the spell of a much younger stud named Tommy, a rude, crude lothario who's made himself a fixture in Daisy's Bel Air mansion. After Tommy and Daisy shock everyone by announcing their engagement, it doesn't take long for someone to stab him in the neck -- with the solid gold Swiss Army knife that Daisy gave him as a gift. The challenging part is trying to narrow down the list of suspects. Jaine's going to have to put a bookmark in that love story and focus all her creative talent into untangling a tale of money and murder . . .