Ellis Weiner

Abigail and John, the Templeton twins, and their dog Cassie, foil a pair of inept kidnappers intent on stealing one of their father's newest inventions.

A whimsical guide to Judaism that covers such topics as how to serve far too much food, passive-aggression, excessive worrying, and things not to do on the Sabbath.

A fictionalized account of the creation of the movie The Great Muppet Caper. In the story, the producer, Raving Stork, is inspired by a story called "On the Trail of the Baseball Diamond" that he finds in an old pulp magazine. Stork recruits screenwriter Salton Pepper and director Stevens Peeledbird, and together they cast Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy for the lead parts. The story then chronicles the shooting, editing, and opening of the film. The book is illustrated with fictional documents and photographs taken from the actual film.

Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely.And that means one thing: investment opportunities!For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon? Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, HOW TO PROFIT FROM THE COMING RAPTURE instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.

In text that captures the unique rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane--hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read--manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By using Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude--part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.--From publisher description.

Professor Templeton has been hired by the Thespian Academy of the Performing Arts and Sciences to invent something, anything, important (and profitable) but the thirteen-year-old twins, Abigail and John, are suspicious and determined to investigate.

He's come to Earth from a distant planet. He's the toughest duck ever to walk the streets of Cleveland. And he's going to save the world from an alien menace that threatens to destroy all life as we know it. He's strong. He's invincible. He's... Howard the Duck From Lucasfilm Ltd. and Universal Pictures

Abigail and John Templeton find themselves at TAPAS (the Thespian Academy of the Performing Arts and Sciences) where their father, the illustrious Professor Templeton, has been hired to invent a groundbreaking theatrical device. Once again, there is drama (of course!), silliness, and suspense, as the twins must thwart the dastardly Dean brothers in order to save the invention as well as their father.

Humourous pastiche of Frank Herbert's Dune.

The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training programme for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies. Written (for real) by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, co-authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl.