Arabella Weir

This is the diary of an ordinary, insecure woman in her thirties, Jacqueline M. Pane. Like all women, Jackie knows life would be perfect if only she had a small bum, sticky-up bosoms and didn't grow a mustache once a month . . . Chart her progress as she perfects the art of feeling shitty about every little, and not so little, bit of herself. The potential for self-doubt lies in everything - and it's all her fault.

"When thirteen-year-old Tabitha Baird's parents split up, she moves with her mum and brother to live with Gran in London. (Gran, who talks to - and, worse, FOR - her knitwear-adorned dog...Oh, the shame!) And Tabitha has to start at a new school where she is determined to be the coolest, most popular girl, whatever it takes. But how will she keep her friends from finding out about her incredibly NOT-cool family?"--Back cover.

When Tommy and Chuckie are entered in the Cutie Cupid Contest at the mall, they try to find a way to fill themselves with enough love to become Cupid in just one afternoon.